RSS Feed Print
Your heaven is at the base of your parents' feet.
Posted: Friday, August 30, 2019 10:36 PM
Joined: 9/8/2017
Posts: 2073

Today, after I returned home from dropping off the caregiver, I found my sister conversing with Raymond, dad’s bath aide. 

I think my dad was Raymond’s last client today.  Raymond was sick all week, and he knows I don’t mind if he can’t make it sometimes or if he’s late one week.  No big deal.  Because I give dad his “Sunday Super Wash with the Works” special.  The whole ….shebang.  He kinda looks shinier after his Sunday Super Wash.

Anyway, during the conversation between him and my sister (of course I got busy with dad while they chit chatted) Raymond asked, “Do you girls believe in the hereafter?”

Of course I said “yeah.”

He said, “Where I’m from, we believe your heaven is at the base of your parents’ feet.  Now, what does that mean to you?”

My sister was “clueless” kmm kmm.

I said, “I think I know what that means.  It means that you hold your parents and take care of them.  We follow them, maybe, into heaven?” 

Earlier this week the caregiver mentioned there’s a place for me in heaven, and other folks say that too.

But, I don’t rely on my work for my father or parents to enter heaven. The truth is….I’m not a good person many times.  I can be a real @ss sometimes.  You should see my driving style, and when folks are in my way at Walmart….Like, one time this young girl was walking so slow in front of me and in my way while she played with her cell phone, I tried to get around her (I walk really fast) and each time shorty me tried to get around she’d step to the side blocking me again.

When she finally realized I was trying to get around, she said “OH..I’m sorry”….

I didn’t  respond out loud, but in my mind I said, “yeah right you slow f**k” 

I doubt that would get me into heaven.

Anyway, I looked up the saying in the internet and found this:

Qur’an (46:15)

"We have enjoined on man kindness to his parents; in pain did his mother bear him, and in pain did she give him birth" (46:15)

Hadith :

1. Your Heaven lies under the feet of your mother (Ahmad, Nasai).67

2. A man came to the Prophet and said, ‘O Messenger of God! Who among the people is the most worthy of my good companionship? The Prophet said: Your mother. The man said, ‘Then who?' The Prophet said: Then your mother. The man further asked, ‘Then who?' The Prophet said: Then your mother. The man asked again, ‘Then who?' The Prophet said: Then your father. (Bukhari, Muslim).

According to Arab culture, the bottom of feet is considered dirty since it is the lowest part of human body along with shoes which are always dirty when you walk outside.

So according to Islam, even the dirtiest part of the body of your mother, opens you a door to heaven. That is the importance of mother in Islam.

Literally it means you need to take care of your mother until her last breath and there is no excuse for disrespecting and hurting her.

We learn something every day, don’t we?

And, I didn’t do that swell of a job with my mother, and disrespected her….so maybe,  fat chance into heaven.




Posted: Friday, August 30, 2019 10:47 PM
Joined: 9/8/2017
Posts: 2073

By the way, I was able to go see ZZ Top this past Wednesday.  They're on their 50th anniversary tour.  Great concert.  Those old long bearded dudes can rock.  If they're heading to your city, get yo self some tickets!  They came out twice in the end, and the lights had to be turned on to make us go home :o(

I'll leave you with this:


Rescue mom
Posted: Sunday, September 1, 2019 12:32 PM
Joined: 10/12/2018
Posts: 885

Lol Ruth, ZZTop was DH fav band, before Alzheimer’s. We saw them several times and as you say, they bring down the House!! Hadn’t heard about them touring for a while, but I have not looked, either...

My relationship with my parents was not that great, to say the least, although I did what was needed. Guess I’ll deal with all that ....sometime. I used to hear a lot of younger co-workers say their mom is their BF, and how they loved doing things with their parents. It was never like that when I was growing up, even with those who had better relationships than I did. Your parents were....parents, not like somebody you partied or hung out with.

Posted: Monday, September 2, 2019 1:30 PM
Joined: 3/7/2012
Posts: 1707

Not Jewish, Christian, Muslim, Hindu. More Zen in my neck of the woods... I did find inspiration in your story... I have found inspiring many of the great thinkers, prophets and philosophers of this world. They have helped me navigate through the labyrinth of my Life's maze.

To honour and respect our parents and grandparents (parents by blood or adoption) is part of human culture and of many traditions. It is one of the many characteristics that makes us human and not uncaring beasts. It is an integral part of what is to be a human being being truly human.. At some point, we are weaned from our parents and we become householders. While in the process of weaning, we give them lots of headaches. We surely can be a pain in the butt... Ha! Been there. Done that...  Ahhh! in their old-age, they become a treasure to hold and behold. Engraved in our memory after they died. For we have been nurtured and weaned and, hopefully, we have learned from them. For that, we are eternally grateful... They gave us Life!

As to heaven. Or hell... I do not believe in life after death. Heaven or hell is a dwelling place,  inside my mind. Here-and-now.

Posted: Monday, September 2, 2019 3:22 PM
Joined: 9/8/2017
Posts: 2073

I'm ok with whatever people want to believe.  I, myself, am not sure which suits me best.  I haven't gone to church since dad got worse in his disease.  That's when he became non-ambulatory.  Instead of Sunday church, we went to the beach.  
Now, we're just stuck at home.  Sometimes I get the urge to make an attempt and escape with him to the beach again, but the caregiver and my sister tell me I better not do that.  The caregiver said, "...what if with your stubborn attitude you end up hurting your back!"

I looked into the portable take-along lift, but it's so expensive and the video for it doesn't show how the patient is actually transferred from bed to the lift. 

Oh well.  Let's believe what we believe and be good folks most of the time (as long as we stay away from Walmart).

Posted: Monday, September 2, 2019 3:27 PM
Joined: 9/8/2017
Posts: 2073

ruthmendez wrote:
I'm ok with whatever people want to believe.  ..
As long as folks don't begin to fight over it

Posted: Tuesday, September 3, 2019 12:06 AM
Joined: 1/23/2017
Posts: 1217

But Ruthie, Walmart is my fave store ... NOT ! Costco, on the other hand, is my real fave. If I truly get some respite care now that Barbara is on hospice, I just might go to Costco for a few hours and walk up and down each isle - slowly - and maybe even get me a hot dog. Ahhhh... the joys of almost normalcy.
Posted: Tuesday, September 3, 2019 2:16 PM
Joined: 9/8/2017
Posts: 2073

chrisp1653 wrote:
... for a few hours and walk up and down each isle - slowly ...

Don't worry Chris!  I won't be behind you trying to get around.  I wouldn't call you names either.  I was just....a little envious of the young girl playing with her cell phone with no worries of the world...

Chris!  I'm happy that you can get some respite now.  I'm sure they can find some volunteers. I haven't used any for the weekends....I'm not sure if they have any right now for the weekends anyway, but I haven't asked.

Anyway, I usually ask my sister to cover if I want to go somewhere, but it's rare.

Space within
Posted: Tuesday, September 10, 2019 9:49 PM
Joined: 10/7/2018
Posts: 35

Ruth thank you for sharing your story. !  Love it .
Dreamer Lost
Posted: Sunday, September 15, 2019 4:02 PM
Joined: 3/7/2019
Posts: 229

Oh Ruth, what a deep musing.  Being of the Christian faith and having one son (and two beautiful daughters) I would often think of two stories in the Bible.  One was when Jesus turned water into wine at the wedding at the behest of his dear mother, Mary.  I would tell my son, see how Jesus did what his mother asked (LOL).  She even told the servants to do whatever Jesus said and then left them to it.  The other is when Jesus was on the cross and he told his disciple.... behold, thy mother, meaning Mary and said to Mary, Woman, behold your son, meaning his disciple (something like that, I'm paraphrasing).  I think he was trying to be sure his mother, Mary was taken care of here on earth after he was gone physically.  I have to remember back in those days, women were so vulnerable and helpless without a male spouse or son to take care of them. They couldn't work or make a living so would be helpless without a male. So, I can see where mother's should be respected and cared for but as for getting into heaven, that is a whole other topic of discussion. (Not sure I would get in if that were the case).  Don't sell yourself short, you seem like a very loving daughter who will be rewarded for all you have done for your parents.  Jesus washed the feet of his disciples and we caregivers have learned to wash not only our LO's feet but their bodies and butts.  So I'm sure there's a big blessing waiting for you. 

The quotes you gave from the Qur'an are also interesting to learn about as all we ever hear about from the media is their evil teachings which I try to listen to with a grain of salt.  I have several Muslim and Hindu neighbors and all are great, friendly neighbors who I wouldn't hesitate to call if I had a problem with DH.  But I still can't remember which ones don't eat meat, the other won't eat pork, and which ones are total vegans. But they all enjoy vegetables from my garden. 

Not really a ZZ Top fan, more of an Eagles groupie.  Glad you got out and enjoyed it though. 

× Close Menu