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Feeling guilty and ashamed
Posted: Monday, September 9, 2019 7:44 PM
Joined: 8/24/2019
Posts: 5

Hello again, 

Currently, I am feeling very guilty about this whole situation I have found myself in. Relatives are not listening, DFS is allowing her to leave the state without conducting the court ordered evaluation, and there is nothing I can do about it. I drove a coworker home today, and noticed my LO standing outside the homeless shelter (due to the NCO) and she looked like a deer in the headlights.. How is this allowed? How is this ethical? How is no one even caring about it but me? I just want to honestly bring her home, say screw it to the NCO, and get her evaluated on my own this week. I don't want to deal with seeing her in this confused state of mind. I hate it.. I guess I'm going to call the Chronic Care Coordinator tomorrow about this situation at the hospital and see what she suggests, because I am at a loss right now. If she's placed in a facility, I would visit her weekly, I just don't want to see her like this anymore, or being taken advantage of by relatives. Furthering that, I have learned that a relative is driving out here on Wednesday to grab my LO and her things, driving her to Reno Nevada, and and leaving her with her half-sister (who lives in a motel room).. I don't think it's safe for her to go there, and I would much rather have her here close to me so I can visit her.. I know I act like I don't care, but she's my mom, and I can't leave her to her own devices or let others take advantage of her like this.. What do I do? How do I stop feeling so guilty and ashamed about this?     

Posted: Monday, September 9, 2019 8:21 PM
Joined: 12/4/2011
Posts: 3465

I am not completely sure what the situation is but are you in a position to care for your mother?  Caring for someone with dementia/Alzheimer's is a full time job. It would be wise to make sure no one is taking advantage of her, and that she is in a safe, caring place if you can't care give her.  No need to feel guilty if you visit her as often as you can and make sure the place is giving her good care. Pray & have faith. God will guide you.  Peace always
Posted: Monday, September 9, 2019 10:26 PM
Joined: 9/21/2017
Posts: 834

I don't understand how they are letting her leave the area with  a legal matter, that she won't understand pending. Say she has an episode at the motel, the police are called and she is arrested for not appearing in court?

See if you can get some help here;

Posted: Tuesday, September 10, 2019 7:28 AM
Joined: 4/3/2019
Posts: 166

Kevin, You have nothing to feel guilty or ashamed of.  You didn't create the situation, you are simply trying to rectify it.  

Based on your past post, I don't think your mom can legally leave the state.  

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