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Lonely in journey(1)
LostinMN
Posted: Monday, September 16, 2019 1:13 PM
Joined: 3/20/2017
Posts: 8


Sister and her family are the caretakers and in Kansas. (only one sister and relationship is terrible)Haven't really talked to any of them about in 8 months. Sister is doing everything. Mom is in a rehab center right now to learn how to re-walk (guess she had a fall and dr recommended PT..that it all I was told ) Called over there this morning and she said she was fine and didn't want to chat any longer. Sister said that is normal now, but it still really really sucks.  I am not 100% sure of the diagnosis but I know that it is dementia and the neuro said it had symptoms similar to lewy body but didn't label it as such. She was supposed to have a FU last week but was in the hospital. Feeling extremely lonely. I guess that there is no "solution" just putting this out there in the hopes that maybe there is some love being given back.
kebertowski
Posted: Wednesday, September 18, 2019 9:49 AM
Joined: 10/19/2015
Posts: 17


I'm sorry you are feeling so lonely. My mother lives with me and is still well enough that she can spend 2 months with my brother every year so I can have a break but the time is rapidly coming that she will no longer be able to do that. I am close with my brother and my extended family but we live across the country from everyone and phone calls can only help so much. It is a very lonely disease for everyone involved. I have tried support groups but as my mom was diagnosed with early onset and I am only 42 yrs old, I am always the youngest in the support group by 15+ yrs and as nice as it is to feel like everyone's granddaughter, (all of my grandparents are deceased,) I need to be able to talk to people nearer my own age. The Alz message boards are a godsend for my sanity. So I can 100% understand your feelings on loneliness. Know that you are not alone! Your thoughts and feelings matter and we all need to work through them at our own pace. There is no right or wrong answer when it comes to the feelings and emotions associated with this disease.
Sarahjanesgirl
Posted: Thursday, September 19, 2019 12:08 PM
Joined: 9/18/2019
Posts: 1


Hi everyone 

I’m new here but I’m looking forward to having some support. I’m the only caretaker for my mm who has dementia/Alzheimer’s. I’ve recently had to move in with her and I’m really struggling. I’m married and have 2 daughters. My husband and I own a condo 2 buildings over from my mom. I feel so very alone! My husband comes over a couple of times per week and my daughters haven’t been over. I feel depressed, detached and so alone! I don’t have any friends here and my church hasn’t reached out to me at all, even though I’m going thru my own health issues. My chest feels so heavy and I can feel my depression coming back. What do y’all do to feel somewhat normal? 


LostinMN
Posted: Tuesday, October 8, 2019 10:22 AM
Joined: 3/20/2017
Posts: 8


Ugh this road is hard. Kebertowki..I am also 42 years old and not really comfortable in the support groups. I have thought that I should start a support group for young people going through this. I will continue to look through this website for support. 
It is good to know that I am not alone, although it feels like that All. The .Time
allisg
Posted: Tuesday, October 8, 2019 11:07 AM
Joined: 10/7/2019
Posts: 3


It really sucks to feel so alone. I'm sorry that you feel this way, and would hope that things do improve for you. I know you said that your relationship with your sister isn't the best, but are visits to Kansas completely out of the question. I know you are concerned with your mother's health, and I'm sure you miss her dearly. Maybe if you were able to make a short visit to where your mother and sister are, you'd be able to see for yourself exactly where your mom is at with her health. She might not want to chat much, but maybe seeing your mother for yourself will help ease any negative thoughts you might be having about her situation. And who knows; maybe there's a little bit of good still left in the relationship you have with your sister. At the very least, maybe going out there will help her realize that you are committed to being a part of your mother's life still, and even though you don't live right next door, you are still concerned with her health and well-being, and want to be a par of what's happening with her; at least in the way of wanting to know more about what's going on. I truly hope that things improve for you. And, like I have, I hope that you will look to this community as a place you can come to and share your thoughts and feelings, and hopefully find that many more people than you'd think, really do understand what you're going through. There are so many people here willing to listen and offer words of advice, or just words of comfort. Just in reading so many other people's stories and the responses they've gotten, it's easy to see that this is a very large community of people where you can find support of many different types. Take care, and I hope that today is a good one!
LostinMN
Posted: Tuesday, October 8, 2019 2:26 PM
Joined: 3/20/2017
Posts: 8


Thank you allisg. This actually all started when I did go see my mom and realized how she was health wise. Just a sad thought knowing what she used to be like and seeing her now. I feel like she kinda knows but at the same time is so lost. It breaks my heart.I lost my dad about 11 years ago and really didn't want to have to deal with this grief again...I am young and there isn't anyone around that I feel like I can talk to. Everybody needs their mommy and to know that I can never have that safety again is really hard.
 
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