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fear of LO coming home
Posted: Wednesday, October 9, 2019 3:15 PM
Joined: 9/2/2019
Posts: 1

My LO was diagnosed last year with MCI, later with vascular dementia. I could handle everything up to her last seizure because she really seemed sick, she went to the hospital and then to skilled nursing.But these last few days she sounds 'normal' even sharp. It freaks me out. I fear her coming home because I am living ok without her. Maybe it's guilt. She is getting transferred to long term care tomorrow. I can't take care of her. I'm 78. The Alz on line said to be prepared for yet another behavior. The Alz on line are great. Anybody have the same trouble with therapeutic lying? Believing the LO making a miraculous recovery? Guilt?
Posted: Thursday, October 10, 2019 1:01 AM
Joined: 10/9/2019
Posts: 41

What is MCI?
S Kay
Posted: Thursday, October 10, 2019 5:42 AM
Joined: 5/31/2019
Posts: 26

Joyced- My heart goes out to you.  I too have so much guilt over being happy when I get away from my LO and all the little fibs I must tell.  I, like most people, have tried to be a honest and forthright person, so the guilt becomes overwhelming.  Please take care of yourself and know that you are allowed to be happy.
Posted: Thursday, October 10, 2019 8:01 AM
Joined: 10/12/2018
Posts: 88

Dementia patients will have great days, horrible days and everything in between.  My mom would have 3 good days in a row sometimes which would make me feel like I was the one with the problem because I couldn't handle her horrible days.  I had to make up so many stories about why my deceased father hadn't yet arrived to pick her up.  But, that was better than dealing with the fallout of telling her he had passed away.

At 78, you should not be taking care of your LO.  Let the professionals handle it from here.  Hopefully on her good days, she will learn to adjust to her new living arrangement.

Posted: Thursday, October 10, 2019 8:36 AM
Joined: 10/9/2014
Posts: 890

I did used to wonder if things were going to turn around for my LO on some days...but, usually, by the end of the visit, I knew it would not.  Sporadic moments of normalcy can be cruel.  But, she is in the right place. And, you being relieved that she is there is appropriate.  I told my LO what I had to in order for her to be happy and content.  I don't view it as lying, but, going into her world where things are happy, positive and always exactly the way she wants them. To me, that's the right thing to do.  I never had an issue with that.  I feel in my heart that I am putting her first by ensuring she is protected, safe and happy, so, I never feel guilty about that, though, I read that others often do.   I'm sorry you are having a rough time. Glad the ALZ line was helpful.
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