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Rock and Hard Place
Posted: Monday, November 4, 2019 9:18 AM
Joined: 11/4/2019
Posts: 2


My LO is doing a respite stay at memory care to stabilize medications and better assess her needs for long term care. Her doctors recommended a 24/7 facility due to some extremely aggressive behavior. The biggest issue is my mother has NO insight into her cognitive decline, and has a highly independent/narcissist personality to start.

The facility has been painting a pretty rosy picture after 6 weeks... HOWEVER her psychiatrist just reported a very different situation.  He very clearly stated that my mom DID NOT belong at the memory care facility she is at right now. and that I was "between a rock and a hard place"

He could not recommend a good place, rather recommended me hire a senior care professional.  I feel frustrated with paying as much as do with current place to also need to hire a professional as well.

I seeking information about

1) others experience with senior care professionals

2) Facilities that serve those early stages of the  in the disease, but REQUIRES the person to take meds and stay at the facility


Thanks for letting me share.




King Boo
Posted: Monday, November 4, 2019 1:28 PM
Joined: 1/9/2012
Posts: 3253

I do not like doctors that shoot off their mouths with little knowledge about care facilities.  Ignore this ya ya.  If you have visited multiple facilities and this one seem like a good fit, and they are caring well for you LOWD, he had no business rocking the boat.  Unless he consults there all the time and has evidenced base data to support that statement.

Is he a Geriatric Psychiatrist that works primarily with dementia patients?  Does he consult at this facility?  

If he is an outside doc, chance are he has never visited the facility and does not know scope of care.

Kind of like our GP who told me hospice wasn't really needed, it was only for pain management.  Insert eye roll.

If your mother has aggressive behaviors due to neurological change, say no more.  She needs a Memory Care placement. With staff that know how to work with dementia patients.  And have a secure unit.


MN Chickadee
Posted: Tuesday, November 5, 2019 8:45 AM
Joined: 9/7/2014
Posts: 1037

I don't quite understand what the doctor meant. He means she is too high functioning to be there? Or is now stabilized? What does he mean by senior care professional? Like a  care manager (social worker or other trained professional who does care coordination for you) or a hands on health aide to work with mom? 


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