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question about reorganizing
Posted: Wednesday, April 29, 2020 6:43 AM
Joined: 1/11/2020
Posts: 192

My husband died Sunday April 26 3 am (officially 5:10 am).

my binders and binders full of daily documentation, should I just throw it All away?  And his financial info - paperwork from health insurance, etc.

Posted: Wednesday, April 29, 2020 7:56 AM
Joined: 4/1/2014
Posts: 5213

I am sorry for your loss, but mostly I am sorry your dear husband had dementia. I hope you have support of family and friends during this sad time, but if not, we are here for you. 

I was told not to throw anything away the first month because we may find things we need or want after the shock of losing our LOs lessens. When my mother died, I went through her things and placed stuff in several big boxes and only later went through them and threw stuff away later. I did divide my mother's possessions with my sisters a week after mom died but that was because they wanted some of her things to remember her, but all the other stuff that no one would want to have anyways-I kept for awhile.

I wish I had kept logs of my mom's decline over the years she lived with me. My friends have told me I should write a book because they saw how well I cared for mom and how good her life was in spite of her Alzheimer's. Perhaps your binders can be a starting point for a means to share what you have learned with others now facing dementia in a LO.

Best wishes to you and I'm sorry your dear husband passed during the time we cannot gather in large crowds. Take goods care.

Posted: Wednesday, April 29, 2020 10:38 AM
Joined: 12/4/2011
Posts: 20903

Please do not throw anything out. 

I would not think about doing anything after a recent death. Just leave everything alone. After a period of time you will know what is important and you may well regret getting rid of things now. 

Posted: Wednesday, April 29, 2020 2:46 PM
Joined: 7/30/2013
Posts: 6051

I'm so sorry for your loss. In my case, I am obsessive about record keeping. I scan EVERYTHING and save it on my computer. Then, I back it up to an external hard drive. You might want to do this.
Posted: Wednesday, April 29, 2020 5:29 PM
Joined: 1/11/2020
Posts: 192

update:  I have decided to keep records, documentation at least until we clear the probate.  I need to clear off " The table".  Some of the insurance info, etc is there - I'll put it in the files in the file cabinet.
Jo C.
Posted: Friday, May 1, 2020 6:41 PM
Joined: 12/9/2011
Posts: 13113

I put everything paper, receipts, reports, etc., in plastic bins and kept it stored for a year.  After that, I went through and cleaned everything out.  I was astonished when I went back into some journaling I had kept since the earliest days through the mid stages; I had forgotten so much that had happened; our minds just sift through things by itself and that can be a good thing in some instances.

Best to have paper you may need than to have to try to get copies of things from other entities.


dutiful deb
Posted: Saturday, May 2, 2020 2:27 PM
Joined: 1/1/2012
Posts: 1904

I think it's a good idea to save all documents. Throughout my caregiving experience, I kept careful records of everything, including receipts, bank statements, financial reports, care conference notes, etc. Everything was organized into accordion files as well as file folders, all of which I kept organized in a large plastic lidded tote.. I used a desk organizer as an "in box" to keep documents that needed to be handled right away, and other items I accessed frequently such as business cards. A large manila envelope with the words "Emergency Envelope" was kept out at all times; this contained important papers such as guardianship, POLST, insurance cards, and anything else I'd need in case of an emergency.  After Mom died, I put her emergency envelope and the items from the inbox into the tote and left it in the corner of a room until just recently, when I packed it all up and put the box into a closet. 

Today I received a notice in the mail from the county courthouse, which states that they never received a guardianship report, which, according to the document, was due in February of 2015. I'm trying to see some sort of humor in this, but, ugh! Really?! I hope this is some sort of a glitch, as I filed reports for everything. I was also my mom's rep payee and VA fiduciary, and filing reports were part of life for me. I am all too familiar with the "we never got this document" and the "the report is missing information" notices, even though I had photocopies of everything I sent out and knew this wasn't the case. I just thought it was all behind me, but I guess not! The guardian's report is simple and straightforward, but now I may be faced with going back and retrieving information to submit, so I'm glad I saved everything! 

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