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LGBT Community and Allies
Stuck choosing between wife or mom
Being told or shown that you are expected to make a choice between two very important people with many needs in your life is beyond stressful.
I don't have useful suggestions to make the situation less stressful for any of you.
Your sister indeed needs help with caring for your mother. Your mother needs care.
Your wife indeed needs attention and help with caring for your nuclear family.
YOU need support to fill your multiple roles as a wife, parent and daughter.
Perhaps consider family therapy to help you all balance everyone's needs during this time?
I hope you are able to return to this forum and receive support.
I realize your post was almost six months ago. So I am not sure
if your question has been resolved either by others, time, or your own troubleshooting.
I am new here to the forum, but if it is helpful at all perhaps the following:
For me, my sister is my ally even if I’m the primarily
caring for LO PWD. She has expressed that she supports my personal goals
(school) and so we negotiate the tasks of searching resources, making
appointments, etc. Perhaps your sister also does not want your marriage jeopardized and you both have the mutual goal of supporting your mom.
Feel free to reach out if you just need to be heard or seen.
I just joined today. My partner was diagnosed Aug. 2020 with late onset Alzheimer's. It has taken me a year to accept the diagnosis and reach out for support.
In the past year we have had most days when she is as perfect as a peach and then a day every once in a while that she would repeat or ask the same question within 5 mins.
I'm looking for ideas on how to keep her informed of daily tasks (we started carrying our appointment calendar with us) without making it seem like a big issue that she didn't remember. Also, are there any LGBT group meetings (via ZOOM)?
HI Maemae66! my wife has early onset alzheimers. We've been at this 6 years now and it's still difficult to accept. I have a white dry erase board hanging on the fridge. I write the day of the week and date each morning after she takes her pills. It's also a check for me that I've given the pills! The I put whatever else we have going on for the day - appointments, errands, special event like someone's birthday or a holiday. It has helped.
As for a support group check with your local alzheimer assoc. The one here has a lgbt group. Hang in there!