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Posted: Wednesday, March 3, 2021 9:33 AM
Joined: 5/5/2019
Posts: 85

My DW, stage six, still toilets herself but is having trouble cleaning herself with toilet paper leading to underwear issues, hand washing issues. Sometimes things go ok, often not so good. I am wondering if anyone has experience with installing a bidet to help improve personal care? I am concerned she could not learn to use it. Has anyone tried introducing the use of one to their LO? Any suggestions or comments appreciated.
Posted: Wednesday, March 3, 2021 1:46 PM
Joined: 12/31/2018
Posts: 515

This topic has come up before and some have had success with it. I'm sure they'll reply. I never tried it with DH for two reasons. First, I didn't think he could learn to use it and he willingly allowed me to clean him after BMs. Second, a caregiver at my support group shared her experience with a newly installed bidet for her DH. I will spare you the details, but her DH did not use it correctly and she had quite a mess to clean up off the walls and everywhere! Fortunately she was able to laugh about it by then.
Posted: Wednesday, March 3, 2021 1:49 PM
Joined: 4/2/2018
Posts: 4106

I had been considering one, and I know a lot of people swear by them. My wife told me in no uncertain terms that she would not use one. But it's still on the back burner.
Posted: Wednesday, March 3, 2021 2:20 PM
Joined: 5/5/2019
Posts: 85

Thanks Ed and Marie for responding. I envision a scenario along the line of Marie’s comment. If I were there to push the buttons everything would be fine, but I doubt she could do it on her own and there is a potential for creating more problems than it is solving. I guess I could try with an inexpensive seat adaptor to see how it goes and then possibly up grade to a better model if it works out. It just seems like a great solution to personal hygiene issues. 

I will report back if I decide to try one out.

Posted: Wednesday, March 3, 2021 2:57 PM
Joined: 8/8/2012
Posts: 27

When my husband got home from hospital stay, he was too weak to shower. He has difficulty cleaning after a BM. I ordered a sitz bath for on the toilet.  With supervision it worked  well
Posted: Wednesday, March 3, 2021 3:43 PM
Joined: 12/21/2018
Posts: 900

When we added another bathroom to the cottage, I went all out and had the Brondell Swash 1400 installed. It has all the bells and whistles, remote control, heated seat, heated water, nightlight, etc. It was very pricey. DH is not interested in using the bidet seat. Its interesting to me because he spent time in Europe and was very familiar with bidets. So far, the only time DH used the bidet, I operated the bidet using the remote control. I don't think DH has the ability to use the bidet seat independently. 

If I had it to do all over again, I would not have invested in the Brondell Swash 1400, not because it is not a quality product. I think it is a fine product. However, I think another product would be more suitable for our needs. My interest now is in the hand held Aquaus 360. It is much much LESS expensive. I have not tried the Aqaus 360 yet, but it is definitely better suited for our budget and looks like it is better suited for cleaning someone else's hiney

Posted: Wednesday, March 3, 2021 4:04 PM
Joined: 12/21/2018
Posts: 900

One thing I did not consider and probably should have before I made such a significant investment, is how the hard water in my area may impact the water lines of the bidet. Its too late now, but I wish I had thought about it before hand.
Lynne D
Posted: Wednesday, March 3, 2021 4:15 PM
Joined: 7/21/2020
Posts: 39

I added an inexpensive, after-market unit to our toilet (from Amazon for about $30. My LO occasionally uses it, and does so correctly. Even if they don’t, it is great to have for when Americans panic and do foolish things like hoard toilet paper.
Posted: Wednesday, March 3, 2021 6:06 PM
Joined: 1/1/2021
Posts: 63

I have a Brondell (heated seat, heated water, remote) that I love. I could imagine using the remote to help my LO later on, although he's familiar with the gadget already.
Posted: Wednesday, March 3, 2021 10:19 PM
Joined: 11/19/2020
Posts: 117

I'm so glad you asked this question as I have been thinking about this too!  My DH is not at the stage yet where he can't take care of his own toileting needs, but I know that day will come.  I heard a commercial on the radio for a bidet seat adaptor for the toilet and I was thinking hmm......this may be the ticket for messy situations in the future!
Posted: Thursday, March 4, 2021 6:10 AM
Joined: 3/14/2018
Posts: 308

We got the bidet with all the bells and whistles. The remote is great. We knew we would have to help her use it. I highly recommend!
Posted: Friday, March 5, 2021 2:49 PM
Joined: 5/12/2016
Posts: 92

My wife is at stage six.  About two years ago I purchased a Smart Bidet through either Amazon or Costco, don't recall which.  It is a retro fit to an existing toilet.  It was very easy for me to do, although I did have to add an electrical outlet near the toilet.  She loves it.  It has a remote, heated seat, heated water, adjustment for male and female anatomy.  It has a sensor such that it will only activate if a person is sitting on the seat so no unexpected geysers. She has not really had any trouble with toileting although she is occasionally experiencing fecal incontinence and on those occasions it provides a final cleansing.  It cost about $200 if I recall.  I'm happy with the purchase and she likes it.
Posted: Friday, March 5, 2021 8:00 PM
Joined: 11/24/2017
Posts: 42

For no particular reason beyond my vague sense that it might become useful, I got a Kohler with most of the bells and whistles except the remote control. I think it was around $500. I am sure that DW, even now in the early middle-stage, will never be able to learn to operate it independently.  But it seems possible that the day might come when she would sit on the toilet and put up with me operating the controls.  If that were to ever be the case, I would definitely swap ours out for one with remote controls vs. the current controls sticking out from the side of the seat.  Other than some mild suggestions that she might like it, I have never encouraged DW to use the seat-top bidet and she has shown no curiosity. My approach has mostly been to treat it as a big luxury for me and she has no clue that it has anything to do with her.  The fact is--and I was surprised by this-- that it really is something of a luxury that I like using.  Automatic person detection when you sit down. A quickly and well heated seat. Well aimed streams of warm/hot water. A nice flow of warm air.  All sorts of options for temperature selections (seat, water, air), flow (continuous or pulsating) etc. Self cleaning. Odor control, though that's mostly a pipe dream. And the blue water night light, useless as it seems to be, looks cool. Now that I've figured it out, almost never a need for TP unless to speed drying.  Whether or not it ever becomes useful for DW, this DH will never go back to TP alone. 

Having read the other comments, maybe some combo of a bidet seat and Lady Texan's suggested Aqaus hand-spray system would be ideal for assisting some of our spouses/partners.

Gig Harbor
Posted: Saturday, March 6, 2021 7:51 PM
Joined: 3/10/2016
Posts: 705

I have two friends whose husbands use the heated ones from Costco. One uses the remote for her husband. All of them love it. No toilet paper means no poop on hands and no plugged toilets . For women it would help prevent any UTIs. If they refuse to shower at least they are washed off each time they sit on the toilet.
Posted: Sunday, March 7, 2021 8:37 AM
Joined: 5/12/2016
Posts: 92

I notice many people mention the difficulty their loved one might have using the remote.  I bought some of those arts/crafts stick-on.... I don't know what to call them.... sparkly little do-dads that people stick on clothes or posters... rhinestones, anyway, I stuck one on each of the two buttons on the remote that she needs to use to active the bidet.  Also used the same technique on the TV remote so she can at least feel the on/off button and on the microwave so she can simply feel and use the "add 30 seconds" button when she needs to, although even that now is beginning to be beyond her ability.  Just a suggestion.
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