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A miracle.
abc123
Posted: Wednesday, December 15, 2021 7:02 PM
Joined: 6/12/2016
Posts: 2477


Dad is 85, not yet diagnosed.

Mom is 80, stage 7 alz.

Me, 62. If I survive their old age it will be a miracle. A miracle.

I am grateful for zanex.


GothicGremlin
Posted: Thursday, December 16, 2021 12:00 AM
Joined: 4/7/2019
Posts: 504


That's kind of how I feel about my sister.  I need to out live that girl, and sometimes there are days where I feel like I'm hanging on by a thread.

Tea and chocolate -- and therapy --- help.


abc123
Posted: Monday, December 20, 2021 11:25 AM
Joined: 6/12/2016
Posts: 2477


Dear Goth, I'm so sorry this happened to your sister! And to you! Lord knows I need a therapist. I don't think I can afford one but I'm looking. My worst fear is coming to pass. My dad seems to be slipping into dementia. I know of no one on his side of the family who had any type of dementia, everyone lived well into old age with a clear, healthy mind. Dad is 85, he suffered two falls this year about 8 months apart and hit his head both times. The stress of caregiving for my mom these past 8 years and the falls, I think it has done great damage. I honestly feel hopeless and that I will not survive. They are 9 hours away because they chose to move over 15 years ago. Over the past few years I have encouraged dad to move closer to home only to be meant with a firm NO! I feel like I am sitting at the bottom of a very deep, very dark hole.
GothicGremlin
Posted: Wednesday, December 22, 2021 11:17 PM
Joined: 4/7/2019
Posts: 504


 I'm so sorry about your dad, abc. One parent is rough enough, two must be overwhelming.

I'm like you in that I have no idea where Peggy's Alzheimer's came from, like your dad. I quizzed all of the relatives, we did a genetic test -- nothing. Her diagnosis was a bolt from the blue. All I can think of at this point is pesticides (including benzene).

Therapists are expensive. I use mine sparingly. I write up lists of things I want to talk about so that I squeeze value out of every minute. She's given me a lot of good advice since my sister's diagnosis.

I'm familiar with that deep dark hole, from which there is no escape.  There are ways of temporary escape though. Different things work for different people. For me, my biggest escape is music. I might tend toward goth/industrial, but I listen to a lot of things - Pink Floyd, '80s music like Duran Duran, Gregorian chants -- anything that takes me out of that Alzheimer's space just for a little while. All of it helps. Physical activity also helps, dancing is great, even if it's only in the living room. I'm determined not to let the stress do me in, at least not yet.


Winterswilson
Posted: Tuesday, December 28, 2021 12:44 PM
Joined: 8/28/2021
Posts: 1


I just joined and this is my first post.  My Dad is 87 and Mom is 85. Both of them have had major cognitive decline over the past 2 years.  My Dad was in/out of the hospital for the past 8months- unrelated to dementia and my Mom has had at least 6 seizures  in the past 6 months... they live independently and will not consider assisted living.  I am taking a larger role with both of them and their finances and daily care...it is so stressful and sometimes I am so overwhelmed and I can't imagine it getting better.  I know it will, but it is hard to manage.
abc123
Posted: Friday, December 31, 2021 7:49 PM
Joined: 6/12/2016
Posts: 2477


Wilson.  I am so sorry. 
alicestevens
Posted: Thursday, March 3, 2022 10:59 AM
Joined: 3/2/2022
Posts: 6


I am very sorry about that
abc123
Posted: Monday, March 14, 2022 2:46 AM
Joined: 6/12/2016
Posts: 2477


Wilson, are you okay? I hope you are reading the boards! I also hope you are finding your way while trying to help your parents. They are fortunate to have you.
abc123
Posted: Monday, March 14, 2022 2:55 AM
Joined: 6/12/2016
Posts: 2477


It's almost 3am and mom has been staring at a blank wall since 1pm this afternoon. Her body is still here, wasting away. What's going on in her mind? I still see her in there. No one else does. I hate this disease. Hate it. She was actually alert this morning and replied yes or no to questions. Her bed faces the window, she watches the birds at the feeder. A blue jay comes everyday. He's huge and beautiful. I watch her watch the birds. How can she still be in there one moment and gone the next? My God! I wish this would end.
Joydean
Posted: Sunday, June 26, 2022 9:27 PM
Joined: 10/10/2021
Posts: 1142


Abc, where are you? There are soo many of us on here trying to find you! I pray with all my heart you are well! I wonder about how your precious mom is doing. I understand sometimes we just need time out and away from this forum. So much pain that sometimes it’s just too much, and still try to care for our own love one with ad. 

PLEASE know you are loved and respected by many, myself included. God bless you, Abc123! 


DrDave2
Posted: Monday, November 7, 2022 12:23 PM
Joined: 11/7/2022
Posts: 2


abc, love the dog picture!  Many thoughts, hugs, and warm wishes your way.
sapaulus
Posted: Saturday, January 7, 2023 10:09 AM
Joined: 1/5/2023
Posts: 2


My husband is 90, I turn 80 next month. While I'm not in the same place that you are, I certainly understand your grief and pain. The stress is terrible at times, but I'm still trying to keep him at home. god bless you in your struggle.
Smilescountry
Posted: Monday, January 16, 2023 9:10 AM
Joined: 11/28/2022
Posts: 3


Both of my parents moved to an assisted living facility that will take them through end-of-life stages as long as they don't need tubes or wires (which they don't want).  Dad has Alzheimer's, is 88 years old, in the moderate stage, and seems to be progressing rather quickly.  Mom is 87, has mild cognitive decline, has been taking care of Dad, but couldn't handle the changes that he was going through.  A few months ago, I got their permission to look for a facility, should they need it in the future.  While I was looking, I found a nice one that was perfectly suited to their interests and near their friends and favorite restaurants.  They didn't want to leave their beautiful home, but they understood that it was time, especially after they took a tour of the facility and went through a couple of scares with Dad.  We are still in the transitioning stage, but it seems to be working.  Regarding therapy, I did seek it out.  In fact, I sought that out before looking for a facility for my parents.  I have Medicare, and it covers all the cost of therapy.  The place where I go has a sliding scale for those without insurance, so it really is affordable.  If you need therapy, there are usually places to go that are not terribly expensive.  I hope that you can find one of those places because it is worth it!

 


Smilescountry
Posted: Monday, January 16, 2023 9:12 AM
Joined: 11/28/2022
Posts: 3


Have you talked to their doctor(s)?  That is the route that I had to take.  Often, a doctor's office can help walk you through getting the care that your parents need.
 
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