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If you don't have a current sponsor, call your local AA office if that program appealed/s to you.
Also, there are Zoom AA meetings still on line all around the world.There is something so lovely about seeing folks in the middle of their day in Europe/where ever , sunlight in their windows when it's feeling dark here in the middle of the night, dawn will soon be here too and nothing is worth losing the gift & grace of 23 years of sobriety.
You're not alone.
That said, read other threads about care giving issues for ideas to lighten or if necessary shift the care. It's all one unique day at a time for us all.
Good for you reaching out. Being alone is the worst place to be. Glad you found us.
I have actively participated in AA all 23 years of recovery, have very good sponsor, have deep understanding of 12 steps, etc. But AA only addresses alcoholism. What I seek via this post is a place to discuss caregiving and the burdens of remaining sober, both at same time. While members of my AA home group know how hard caregiving is for me they can only offer their own experience, strength, and hope related to alcohol.
If there are 16 million caregivers for ALZ then statistically there are about 2 million alcoholics amongst them, myself one of them. I have yet to find Alz “meetings” but currently searching for same. As they say in AA, “meeting makers make it”.
I commend you for being in a difficult spot -and taking care of your LO. If you call the ALZ line they can refer you to men's groups you can do either in real life or online via Zoom or Skype. I say men's groups as men have more experience with alcoholism than women on average and so you might find a group that's male where at least guys know what it's like to be a male caregiver, and might offer up some words of wisdom or camaraderie about how to deal with the other. I'd call the line and have them do a search for male caregiver groups for you. You might be surprised what's out there.
I would also review the situation with your own PCP, I did that over my caregiving and got my antidepressant dose upped, and another health issue I had neglected sorted, as well as lots of help and advice for dealing with the LO.
Your local “milestones” area on ageing r similar (even if you are not that old) will have lots of experience and resources too. I think daycare or respite for LOlneeds to come sooner rather than later if you have issues because you can snap and break suddenly, sooner maybe than average.
Squeaky wheel gets the grease, I say that about once a day to myself, as much as to anyone!
I commend you for being vulnerable about your concerns of caregiver stress affecting your sobriety. I think it's admirable and your transparency about it and wanting to connect with others will be a sober support you can lean on in your journey.
I became sober on the advice of my PCP when I asked him what I needed to do to avoid succumbing to this horrible disease I was losing my father to. Quitting alcohol was at the top of his list because of the correlation between alcohol consumption and dementia. I was never one who was really great at moderation, so it was all or nothing for me.
My brother also quit at roughly the same time as he was terrified with our family history and risk of getting it. We would regularly talk and that certainly helped me feel like I had an ally in remaining sober as we were going through the shared responsibility of care giving for my father. It was hard as hell to be honest. There were times it would have been so easy to 'escape' from the pressure and stress so easily with a glass or two or four of delicious wine. But, that really ultimately would have made my job so much harder. And then the shame of facing up to breaking my sobriety would have probably broken me much more than any awful hard stressful day of care giving.
We actually discussed this just last week at my father's memorial service. How proud we were of each other for not 'going off the rails' during these last couple of years. Honestly, I feel like if we could maintain it through that, than we can maintain it through anything.
If you can find someone who is sober and an ALZ caregiver I think that would be ideal.
In addition, I love this site: https://www.tiredofthinkingaboutdrinking.com/
You can sign up for her daily emails (free), and sometimes just reading a few of her words was enough to give me the strength I needed to get through the minute, hour, day.
You can do this Ab. Strength and peace to you.