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A giant rough patch
Posted: Tuesday, September 13, 2022 10:44 PM
Joined: 8/4/2019
Posts: 21

I haven't been here in a while.  Chaos abounds.

My sister Margie is not doing well at all.  She moved to Memory Care at the end of December.  She thought she worked there, so she wouldn't visit long.  (It is a similar setting to her last job.)  There have been at least a few times that she thought she said something that offended everyone, got in with an "evil" crowd or "wrecked everything" and sent 2 people to the hospital and we were going to go broke paying all the bills.  In all cases, nobody liked her after whatever she "did", not even God.  Sometimes this worry/distress lasted for days.  I often found her walking the halls.  She never was one to sit much.

About 4 weeks ago, the staff had a hard time getting her to sit to eat, and to go to bed at night.  If they did get her in bed, sometimes she'd be back walking the hallways in just a few minutes.  She started speed-walking in the hallways.  And her balance was off, so she started falling and getting bruises.  She was hugging herself so hard that she had fingerprint bruises on her arms.  One afternoon, she fell twice in a short time.  She was transported to the hospital.  UTI.  They admitted her because she was still off balance.  Well, her anxiety shot through the roof.  After 2 days, her balance was back, and she was speed-walking & dragging 2 nurses through the hall, trying to find the way out.  They tweaked some meds.  She was still walking pretty well when she went back to the Memory Care facility.  (By the way, on Margie's most stressful day, I was with Margie when I got a call from a doctor in the ER, talking about my mom.  You mean my sister.  No, my mom.  She was admitted 2 days after Margie, with a UTI and a swollen kidney that we were already investigating.  She was discharged with a tube draining her swollen kidney.  She needs round the clock care/supervision which was me for Labor day weekend.)

Back to Margie.  She started falling again.  She fell out of bed.  We took her bed frame away and put the bed on the floor.  I got her a weighted wrap (not quite a blanket), and 2 weighted capes.  She is off balance while walking, so now she sits in a wheelchair all the time.  Her speech is soft and mostly garbled.  Although, she did clearly tell me the other day that she is "terrified all the time".  She looks away from people who are talking to her.  Her eyes are usually half-closed.  She yelled in pain when I moved her closer to the table today, and I made sure not to bump her feet.  She doesn't eat much.  She's so thin.  Mom wants to see her, but I kind of wanted to wait until Mom's IV bruises went away.  (Margie didn't know Mom was in the hospital.)  Now, I don't want Mom to see Margie.  I hate this.

I know I have Margie in the right place, though.  Would you believe that one of the staff members is coming in on her day off on Monday to help me get Margie to her appointment?  I can't get her there by myself when she is so unsteady. 

Gothic, I saw your post.  It sounds like your sister is somewhat "stable".  I'm glad to hear it.

Oregano, I saw your comment in Gothic's post about mold.  I heard about that for the first time last week.  Monday, I'm taking Margie to see the doctor that talked to me about it.  She's going to test Margie.

mommyandme (m&m)
Posted: Wednesday, September 14, 2022 8:58 AM
Joined: 2/16/2020
Posts: 748


Wow you have a lot going on! Sounds like you’re doing a great job for your LOs! They’re lucky to have you. I’m curious on what the doctor finds at Margie’s appointment. Let us know? 

Posted: Thursday, September 15, 2022 12:24 AM
Joined: 4/7/2019
Posts: 422

Oh my gosh, IDrive3, I'm so sorry to hear this. I know how overwhelming this must be.

You know, Peggy's fallen a couple of times, and we moved her bed to the floor just like you did. She's definitely not steady on her feet (although she thinks she is), she walks very slowly and meanders like a river, so I usually hold her hand while we're walking the halls.

We adjusted her medication and that helped a lot - she's on sertraline. I'm thinking good thoughts for you and Margie and hope that the meds tweaking helps.

How is your mom doing?

Even though there's lots of craziness, be sure to carve out some time to take care of yourself.

And thank you for your thoughts about Peggy. I appreciate it.

Posted: Wednesday, September 21, 2022 8:58 PM
Joined: 8/4/2019
Posts: 21

Thanks for your replies and concern, M&M and Gothic.

Mom is doing ok.  She's sick of having caregivers around all the time, but I didn't want to release them all until she has her follow-up with the urologist.  (The appointment went from 10/7 to 11/25 to 10/31 to 9/22!!  The last change was thanks to the visiting nurse who called the Urology office and said, "Not acceptable!"  Hurray, Nurse!)

I had to cancel Margie's appointment with the doctor who talked about mold toxicity.  Sleep deprivation is not making me smarter.  I mentioned before that Margie is in a wheelchair now.  It didn't occur to me that it might be difficult to get her in my Prius if SHE CAN'T STAND!!!  I rescheduled and also booked the facility's wheelchair accessible van.  Good idea, eh?

She's also being weened off one medication.  She's a little more alert now, but still not mobile.  And she screams!  She has never screamed before.  It was a little jarring to hear.

Margie had been crying about not seeing Mom, so yesterday I took Mom and her caregiver over for a short visit.  It went ok.  I had to take Margie's hand a couple times so she'd release her tight grip on Mom's fragile arm.

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