Home Safety Checklist

Announcement: ALZConnected will be transitioning to a new platform beginning April 3, 2023!   Click here to learn more.

RSS Feed Print
I’m still so frustrated
mathteachermom
Posted: Wednesday, October 19, 2022 4:31 PM
Joined: 10/19/2022
Posts: 2


I find myself still getting really frustrated with my husband who is only 46 and has dementia. I think I’m just mad in general. I have a 14 year old at home and now it seems as though I have two kids and no husband. But I feel so guilty for feeling this way.
Arrowhead
Posted: Wednesday, October 19, 2022 4:50 PM
Joined: 7/17/2020
Posts: 344


NEVER FEEL GUILTY. You are in a difficult situation and all you can do is the best that you can. There is a lot of stress involved and it will get to you at times. I consider myself to be emotionally strong but every once in a while, I break down and let the tears flow. My wife is basically a 5-foot tall, 125 pound three-year-old whose mind keeps getting younger and whose abilities keep getting less and less. You can survive this. You are stronger than you realize.
mathteachermom
Posted: Wednesday, October 19, 2022 9:06 PM
Joined: 10/19/2022
Posts: 2


Thank you. I really needed to hear that.
River48
Posted: Saturday, October 22, 2022 4:02 PM
Joined: 5/19/2019
Posts: 12


Sorry to hear.I am still mad and cry often and this week will be 4 years since he passed at 58.I keep thinking why and what if things were different.My husband was diagnosed with Concussive trauma and then a year later we were told it was FTD then ALZ then we don't know.He saw what was happening and ended his life.I was so mad but have come to realize it was his choice.His autopsy was inconclusive but suspected CTE.I hope you have family support.His family cut him loose as soon as he became ill so that was devastating for him.Don't be hard on yourself and take time for you.I have never been through anything so terrible.
Jude4037
Posted: Thursday, January 26, 2023 4:03 PM
Joined: 1/26/2021
Posts: 41


We all feel guilt . It’s part of being a care giver I think.My husband passed 11 months ago and I look back and think maybe I could have done it better or that he would have done it better. I know in my heart I did the best job I could. My friends and family say how great I was dealing with it and in my head I know it’s true but my heart aches and so I feel guilty. In reality it’s probably just missing the person I married 55 yrs ago and who he was had left long before his body did. I started missing him years before he died.
danapuppy
Posted: Saturday, March 18, 2023 1:38 PM
Joined: 2/3/2022
Posts: 17


"darn* it! I've answered that question 25 times and I still haven't made your breakfast yet." The frustration begins that early everyday. I hate myself when I lash out at her like that. And I seem to do it far too often. I hear all the advice that everyone generously shares. I appreciate it, really. But the anger still boils out. I pray for patience, I study scripture. I try to destress and find alone time. But I'm simply angry! The person I love is confused, depressed, anxious, sits in her house coat watching the same TV show trying to remember the characters' names, and so on. She doesn't want to go anywhere or do anything. She makes excuses to avoid her children and grandchildren. They have given up trying. She is lost. I can't fix her, our life together sucks now. Without God's miracle it only will get worse. So...I'm mad...I'm pissed...but not at her...she is just the only one around when my patience fails. God help me to be a better man!
 
× Close Menu