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Dumped the bath aide service
Dad kept getting little rashes. At first, I assumed, “...his skin is
changing? Getting more sensitive?”
Then later, I thought, “Raymond ain’t doing that good of
job. Like, a 5 minute bath?! Ok, no big deal. He’s busy and has many patients.”
My sister was surprised with how fast the service was. She happened to be present when Raymond
stopped by to bathe dad. She said, “...yeah,
he thinks I don’t spend enough time with my father, but what’s up with those 5
For me, it’s no big deal, because I give dad his “Sunday
Super Wash with the Works Special” anyway.
It can take up to 40 minutes. That doesn’t include the grooming, which
by then is more like ~1 ½ hrs. It’s a lot of work.
So, no big deal if the bath aides don’t do much. Just a little freshening up for dad is okay
and I’m not there to help out.
And, I rarely expect much from folks. It’s just how it is.
Raymond stopped coming around. I thought maybe he won the
lottery, because the last time Raymond bathed my dad, he arrived in a nice big vehicle. Good times.
However, recently I saw Raymond moving along the freeway (in
yet another car) while I was stuck in traffic.
He slowed passed me and waved out trying to get my attention, then waved
hello to me with a big smile. I waved
I guess he had to dump dad because his work area is mostly
up North and dad is a Southern area man.
The traffic going south takes very long time during late afternoons.
Well, with the
replacement bath aide, the rashes got worse.
I never met her, but she seemed very nice. We only communicated through texts or
calls. And I heard she was young, maybe
I could tell she was doing a better job bathing dad, but
dad’s rashes got bigger or worse. What
the hell is going on? Why is his skin
A couple of
Sunday’s ago, after several days treating his rashes by washing the irritated areas,
applying ice for a few seconds, applying cream for the rash and by the super
wash, the rash was pretty much gone….I realized “Hey, I don’t think the bath
aides are rinsing dad with clean water..”
I always lather dad up, rinse, and change the water and
drench him one last time. I make a mess
in the room, but as long as dad gets a good washin’, it’s all good.
Later, I told the caregiver, “…dad has a rash again. I don’t think the bath aide is rinsing the
soap off. Can you please tell the bath
aide to rinse him one last time with just water, please?”
She said, “Oh yeah, she never rinses him. She says that with the soap she’s using you don’t
have to rinse…”
Well, the bath aide was instructed to rinse him, and I heard
that she said she didn’t think that was causing his rashes. And she rinsed him very quickly with not much
water…I mean, I understand she’s trying to be careful….but…
It kinda irked me, but I know it’s not her fault.
That same day when I arrived home, dad had a big rash
again. I took a picture of it, sent her
the photo via text, called her, and dumped her service.
It was like, it’s not you, it’s me type of breaking…when
really, it was her and not me.
“…this has been happening since Hospice began and I never
figured out what it was until last Sunday.
I think it’s best not to have the service anymore. It’s not your fault, and I understand you may
have a schedule and many patients. But, I
don’t really need the help anyway. I can do it myself…blah bah blah bah blah….”
So, it’s been over a week, and no more rashes. Why does it take me so darn* long to figure
And, is this what I have to look
forward to if I become bed bound/incompetent?? Is this
happening to other bed bound patients??
I can’t imagine doing this type of bath service on the little old ladies
with stretchy and thin/sensitive skin.
Dad is up for recertification, and chances are, because he’s
not declining, he’ll get discharged?
Blood work was done, so let’s see what happens.
I was surprised to see how much Medicare is being charged
for Hospice. I thought, “…now multiply
that amount with all the people receiving Hospice…..wow wow wow”. And, look at dad’s recent photo….does he look
like a dying man to you?
I already told the care manager that I will no longer take dad
to any doctor offices or for Lupron injections.
So, let’s see what other options there are if he gets discharged….to be
I am sorry Ruth. You are a great advocate for your father; he is blessed to have you by his side caring for and about him.
Thank you JoC. Dad is pampered all the time. I mean, look at that spoiled face of his! We do have little arguments, but he still wins.
Eric, the Director of Hospice immediately called me after I talked to the bath aide. I felt that I had to inform the bath aide myself so she can hear it from me first. I would have been willing to show her myself, but I don't have time during the work week when it may be her only schedule. And I knew it would be too much back and forth and disagreeing or different opinions Hey! I've been bed bathing dad for almost 2 years. So I know that what I'm using (lotions or whatever) wasn't causing that. I think she's taught or trained that the soap she's using is safe for all skin types. I guess it's similar to dry shampoo or maybe it's the same?? (I imagine this is happening to more people and folks aren't aware.)
So, best to dump the service and she can decide on her own that next time she needs to listen, instead of defending her no-rinse method. I had just cleared him up since the previous time she bathed him. That's why I sent her the photo of the rash on my dad's inner arm area. Actually, both arms were like that. He didn't have it before she bathed him. She said, "would you like me to shower him?" I don't have walk-in shower to roll him in. Even if I did, that probably would be aggravating for him in his condition.
And with the previous bath aide, dad would get little rashes on upper chest area. At that time, I didn't realize the real cause. It took a while to figure it out. I also assumed warmer weather and sweat was causing that. But that didn't happen last year...
Anyway, back to the Director (sorry, I went off on a tangent again), she immediately called me and was sorry to hear that. She immediately offered whatever help I needed. I told her at this time I'm okay, but that I wouldn't hesitate to ask when needed. She said that I can leave instructions of what I do and they can follow what I want.
His rash is gone. However, I do see a slight sensitivity where the rash originally was located. I'm keeping an eye on it. It seems good today.
ladyzetta, isn't he? I've been wanting to take a close photo shot of him smiling for a while now. That picture was from a couple of weeks ago and he was giggling about I don't understand what. Sometimes he talks about something funny someone had done or it seems like back in his day he would play tricks on people and joke about it. I'm not sure. I imagine as a young man, he and his brothers did lots of goofy things and pulled it off. He seems to be at that time of his memory life right now..??...I'm guessing.
And then other times he seems really afraid that someone is going to attack his parents. Who knows. I don't know the history. But he does get worried about his parents (if he only knew they're doing just fine in the other world).
Yep! Not a dying man. Labs are good. Dad's been discharged. HA! No surprise. Good thing the care manager will help us with the transition for Home Health. And the Home Health team she'll arrange with works right next to their (Hospice) building. She said they switch patients with them all the time.
Maybe I should jump into Hospice for myself instead ;o)
You are such a good caregiver to your Dad and he looks so Cute & Happy hes not going any where for awhile. He is blessed to have a daughter like you. Hugs Zetta
Thank you ladies. That smile is too cute. And yes, he ain't going anywhere. Although, sometimes when he's a little pissed off, he says, "....I'm leaving now...."
I ask him, "where are you going?"
He responds, "well, to my house!"
So, to make a long story short (or maybe not), the caregiver and I had been checking dad's blood pressure for a couple of weeks because the Care Manager was noticing his blood pressure was too high. At first, the doc was about to prescribe a diuretic and I freaked because dad once ended up in ER for hyponatremia...so that was dropped from prescription. That's when the caregiver and I began a log for reporting my dad's blood pressure-sending the Care Manager photos of my log, and she or another nurse would check each week themselves. Well, anyway, again, today she checked his pressure, took some photos of the log I had, and a few hours later I received a call.....ring ring..."Hello?"
"Hi Ruth, the doctor is going to prescribe another medication for your father's blood pressure because it's still too high. He is going to prescribe hydralazine, twice a day, and we are going to continue monitoring your dad. So, he isn't discharged yet..."
Okay. Wow. I couldn't help thinking about how much dad's wonderful smile has costed Medicare. But,... ….. … ..
Anyway, have you guys heard about Equine Assisted Therapy??
A couple of weeks ago, the Care Manager arranged this for my dad. It's so cute. My dad thought it was a dog and was hesitant to pet the miniature horse.