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I am my mother's mother
I loved the subject line and the content. Very well said.
I hate it too. I did not sign up for this, but here it is. When someone says "You are being so good to/for her." I usually reply with a sad smile "You mean I had a choice? Hey, no one ever told me that! I wish I'd known!"
Do whatever it takes to keep your spirit and life alive. Don't let it claim two victims.
For the last 4 years I’ve been taking care of my DH and mother who were diagnosed with dementia in the same year. My DH passed away 8 months ago and now I have my mother to take care of 24/7. She will be 101 years old in 2 months but is still strong. She has her moments of delusions when she thinks that she is still young and starts walking alone and gets upset if I want to hold her arm. I used to get impatient with her but I decided to change my attitude.
Whenever she starts acting up I look at her and start thinking of all the things that she did for me as a single mother and I get close to hug her and kiss her. This is working for me because she calms down and starts singing.
I fully understand the frustrations of caregivers. In my first year I wanted to take my car and run away without a destination. I did a lot of reading about this illness and also learned from other posters experiences.
I’m still mourning the loss of my DH but God is granting my mom more time to be with me during this painful period in my life.